On Tuesday night, we're going to the adoption information meeting at the Children's Home Society of North Carolina.
Before we tried to start a family, we talked about adopting one day. After seventeen months of unexplained infertility, and 3 failed IUI's we had "the talk."
Also, we have had so many signals - some have left me speechless. Have you ever had that happen, while ruminating about something? Some might say it's a God thing.
One God thing, was a lady who said "What is family? It's people who are committed to loving each other. We're not biologically related to our husbands, yet we're family."
Then, my hubby's eldest cousin made an announcement - they are adopting. They are in their early forties, and adopting a newborn domestically.
So we looked at our options:
Adopting internationally requires that you meet requirements for both the United States, and the country you adopt from - two federal governments. It can be expensive, lengthy, and the adoptee's country has the right to deny at any time.
Adopting a newborn domestically requires a birthmother to make the decision to give away her baby to adoptive parents via an agency. The birthmothers already made the decision to give life, and not abort their baby. They also choose the family that will raise their child.
Different states have varying laws, but in North Carolina you'd be responsible for all birth mother expenses - medical care, housing, transportation, counseling, clothing etc. but there's no law that allows you to get a re-imbursement if the birthmother chooses not to give away her child. It can be expensive, and risky.
Domestic Foster Care
There are over 108,000 children in the United States foster care system waiting to be adopted. Oftentimes, their parent's have lost or relinquished their rights. The children are oftentimes in sibling groups and may have physical or emotional difficulties.
Adopting from the foster care system is inexpensive, as the state helps with the costs. Also, depending on each child's situation they may qualify for free medical care, and state college tuition.
We have talked a lot, and have decided we'd like to adopt domestically from foster care. A boy, or girl toddler up to the age of three or four. When we made that decision I slept well that night.
The children are already born, and in foster care - waiting day, after day for a permanent family. We have discussed the difficulties, and have spoken with several AP's (adoptive parents) and many have said some emotional and educational difficulties wear away with the attentive support and stability of a permanent family.
After making the decision we called our close family, and my mom was beyond excited. She has been especially supportive, as have my sister, and hubby's brother.
My father who was born in 1958, was adopted by his step-dad in 1962. My dad's biological father was in the German army and passed away when he was a toddler. My Granny remarried in 1962 to my Grandpa who was in the British army. My Granny was from generation hush.
I found out when I was a teenager. I know of my biological grandfathers last name, profession, and the country he lived in - but that's all. Who knows, maybe he had a genetic predisposition to cancer, which my dad passed away of in 2013. It's a blank on my medical forms, so although I don't entirely understand how it feels to be adopted, it has touched my life.
Our next step
We are preparing for our home study appointment and praying for guidance.
Please keep us in your prayers,
Kiki Nakita ~