Tuesday, February 23, 2010

How to be the Perfect Wife in 1965 and in 2010

This was taken from Helen B. Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood, published by Pacific Press in 1965. The course was designed to teach women how to be happy in marriage. It is still a good guide, but I tweeked it for the women of 2010.


(1965) plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.

(2010) when you are home don’t bring your work with you, try and schedule your working time while he’s at work.

(1965) plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

(2010) keep a grocery list and goes grocery shopping with your husband if he enjoys cooking with you. Plan ahead and perhaps make Friday nights where he helps you in the kitchen, it’s a nice way to make something together.

(1965) take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

(2010) before you get home, or your husband gets home call a friend to unwind and discuss how your day was. Your girlfriends and mother are interested in all the details, where he isn’t, that way when he comes home you feel resolved and can smile with ease.

(1965) make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him knows that you care and have planned for this homecoming.

(2010) With such busy lifestyles today enlist a chore chart and get into a weekly routine, try and get the children involved and when your husband helps out, or does a chore always recognize his help, and show appreciation.

(1965) take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.

(2010) Make sure your children are calm and have all their homework done and out of the way.

(1965) especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.

(2010) Load the washer or dryer the night before and turn on while running errands or going to work. After dinner, just before you go to bed, put the dishwasher on and you’ll never notice the noise.

(1965) greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.

(2010) when he comes home continue with what you’re doing, smile and say hello, but let him decompress for a little while first.

• Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.
• Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.
• Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.

(2010) having called your mother of girlfriend earlier in the day, you should’ve resolved and difficulties through chatting, laughing and crying. Do talk with your husband but try your best to remain positive and upbeat.

(1965) have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.

(2010) now this is going overboard. Allow him to relax, but don’t cater to every whim, it’s thankless and may lead to future resentment, or worse case divorce.

(1965) you may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, and then he will be a more responsive listener later.

(2010) maybe ask him about his day differently every day, so it’s not routine, yet he still has a good listener.

1. How were your colleagues at work today?
2. Did everyone like the strawberry cream puffs I made for you to take today?
3. What was the favorite part of your day?

Keep it positive and upbeat, usually if someone dislikes something they go over it again…and again, if they mention it frequently without finding a resolve try and cheer them up with positivity.

(1965) never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.

1. If your home during the day or part time watch movies he dislikes alone…and when he’s home watch something either he or both of you enjoy.
2. Try and include the children in a family game night once a week that way he’ll get to spend quality time with them, besides the TV.
3. Maybe invite him to bed early, and give him a back massage

(1965) try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.

(2010) the premise of this article is that despite the fast pace world outside our homes, make it a place where your husband enjoys. By keeping positive and upbeat thoughts, and conversations and encouraging your husband and children to do the same will prevent routine nights of disappointment and disagreement in front of a TV. Spend time together, play a game, work on a puzzle, create a family motto, and maybe have a game of truth or dare. Why not?

Or you may be thinking:

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