I recently read this article about the importance of living in the moment. Parts of it resonated with me;
"Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what's past."
"Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now. We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week." We eat a cookie and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies."
Oh, I felt like the whole article was talking to me, but then I realized a lot of us don't embrace the moment. I like looking at the past...doing genealogy makes me feel proud of the people who made my present what it is today and am so nostalgic of my childhood decades, the 80's and the 90's.
Also, I always look too far forward that I'm always writing lists and planning things to do in the future. Of course that plan has everything 'perfect' for five years away.
I'm learning to be more present. One-day I came into focus and I asked myself how did all this happen? I wrote about how I used to be a people pleaser, always striving to be 'perfect' so that I would avoid any criticism or confrontation. That's the past I ruminate over, and the nostalgia of a 80's or 90's movie is what brings me back to my present joy.
Luckily, there's few people to please anymore, but like a break-up it takes years to subside. When confronted nowadays, I act overly joyful because there's nothing that's more bothersome to someone whose a bully than you being happy. They think to themselves, why are you so happy? so secure? and then become insecure in themselves and usually don't continue to question.
As for the future, besides my lists I feel assured. We are settled in a nice home, on a nice street. We have good opportunities that help us to afford to make our house a home, and to plan excursion day trips or a future family. I realize in that regard, I'm blessed with my life.
To block the over-thinking brain I've decided to be more ignorant on some things. I don't express my opinions on politics or religion as I couldn't care to argue. I have stopped reading the news as I would ruminate about what horrific people there are in the world.